Dayton City Paper 08/13/2013
Well, It’s the Sizzling Summer Sex issue in this week’s Dayton City Paper.What exactly does that mean? I made a quick phone call to our fearless leader, Owner and Publisher of DCP, Paul Noah, to get the lowdown.
“Paul, it’s Buch,” I said.
“Oh, hey there. What’s up?” Paul responded.
“Well, just want you to know that this is perfect for me to write about,” I continued.
“Why is that?”
“Because, Paul, not only am I a respected journalist and former longtime TV guy, but a local sex symbol, too.”
“Hello, Paul … hello?”
Must have been disconnected. But since I’m the old dude on staff and most of you 20-somethings that read my column and think of your parents, just remember – I am your folks, but way cooler. So, Sizzling Summer Sex, huh?
OK, lets go back a bit, to me growing up. It’s when one of my boys would somehow get our hands on a copy of that month’s Playboy magazine and sneak behind our garage to, of course, read the articles and then look at the pictures. It was amazing to get our first glimpse of the female body in its wonderful natural state. How amazing!
But let’s fast forward to today.
Sex is everywhere. TV, billboards, Internet … you don’t have to sneak behind the garage anymore. Now we have congressmen thinking it’s wise to “tweet” a picture of their privates. Why? Because they can, I guess. And don’t get me started on “sexting.” Back in my day, if you wanted to do something like that, no way could you take pictures and take them to the local pharmacy to get them developed. No way, no how. Way too many prying eyes.
So, how was it done before iPhone cameras and instant Internet access? It was called “The Polaroid.” Yes, a cool little camera that would spit out a small instant photograph and develop the picture instantly before your eyes, about 60 seconds. Seems like a lot of work doesn’t it? But it did the trick. Of course you would never want to lay those pictures around for the wrong pair of eyes to see, like mom or dad. I, of course, never did this. Only heard stories from friends.
But what have we evolved into and why? Why do we think it’s cool to take pictures of our natural nakedness? It must be the thrill of it, but you hear stories all the time on how these pictures always seem to end up in the wrong hands.
In between Polaroids and iPhones, there was a thing called a camcorder. Everyone seemed to have one, including actor Rob Lowe who inadvertently lost track of his VHS tape recording of his romp in an Atlanta hotel room. This sexcapade made the rounds before the Internet by someone making copies and then sending them out via snail mail. Can you imagine what that would have been like today? Rob and his nakedness would go viral in a matter of minutes. But if you think about it, his “sex tape” was maybe the groundbreaker. Now it’s the coolest for a Hollywood star to do the “dirty” and maybe boost a somewhat sagging career.
Currently, just perusing through some Facebook pages you’ll come across young people – mostly guys – showing off their guns, topless. I’m hearing through my daughter’s friends that guys love to send semi or totally nude pictures. Is it a thrill? Living on the edge? What if this comes back one day to haunt these young men and women? Chances are it will. Will they blame it on inexperience, being youthful and dumb?
That can’t be the excuse for former congressman Anthony Weiner, now running for mayor of New York City. More of his sexcapades keep coming out and spreading like a California wildfire. What was he thinking? Obviously, he wasn’t. I mean, really? Pictures of Anthony Weiner’s wiener? Bet he wishes he could take all those back, but alas they’re there forever, all thanks to a thing called the Internet. Now, no matter what he does – cure cancer, save the world from climate change, wipe out hunger – he’ll be known as the guy who took pictures of his junk. How sad. But as long as there is sex, we’ll have this sort of thing continue.
Can you imagine what the next 25 years will be like? But I can guarantee one thing – a word to the wise: When employers are hiring, you could have the best looking resume and cover letter on the planet, but know what they do? They check out all your social media sites. Yep, cause that’s the real you – not who you portray on paper.
So, if your will power is weak and you entertain the idea of sexting, maybe a trip to the flea market is in order for a Polaroid camera.
That’s if you can find film.
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